Are you a jerk?
Blogging brings out the best in people.
It gives them the chance to grow their business, reach new audiences and of course, make money.
Sadly, it sometimes brings out the worst in us as well.
There are times that we get so caught up with the little traffic and subscriber boosts that we get, that we lose ourselves in the frenzy. We make terrible blogging mistakes.
In this post, I want to talk about something that we all could learn from. These are things you should never forget no matter how awesome you become.
You know what I’m talking about. It’s when some bloggers get on their high horse and start acting like they’re the king of the world.
I admit. I’m guilty of being full of myself sometimes, and it shows too.
Yup, little old me, thinking I’m so awesome. That’s absurd! I’m not that much better than you. I’m not a guru. I’m not even a total expert.
I’m still learning. You and I both. We just need to remind ourselves that no matter how much traffic we get, or how many subscribers we have, we’re still learning.
This happens when we’ve think we’ve learned so much about our craft, teach it to others and then come off sounding like a jerk.
Yeah, in some posts I sounded like a total jerk. I didn’t know about it until my girlfriend read one of my blog posts (yes, even though she’s not interested in copywriting and content marketing). She told me I sounded like a total jerk.
We need to stop acting so much like gurus, and start acting like we’re hungry for knowledge, because that’s who we really are. We’re just in search of better ways to improve our craft and make a better living.
So how do we stop acting all high and mighty? How do we stop acting like gurus?
1. You keep talking about yourself
One of the biggest blogging mistakes is to make the show all about you.
Don’t talk about yourself all the time. It may be good to mention some amazing feat you’ve done, but never overdo it.
Limit the number of times your talk about yourself, or your brand.
The idea is to gain other people’s trust, and doing this not by shoving your ideas down people’s throats, but to make them feel that you’re consistently giving them all this great stuff that they can’t resist loving you.
Remember, blogging isn’t about you, but what you have to give.
It’s similar to when you’re writing copy for your product. As they say, sell the sizzle, not the steak.
2. You describe yourself as “awesome”
“I’m a kick-ass master-class blogger with ballz of brass and all that jazz.” – some jerk
A lot of us fall into this trap.
We tend to describe ourselves like we’re so awesome, to give the impression that we’re experts, but we don’t realize that it makes us look like jerks instead.
The better way to do it is to let your readers decide that for themselves. How do you go about doing that?
The cliche, “Provide value”, fits into this perfectly, and helps us avoid this big blogging mistake.
Provide so much value and honesty to your readers that they would think, “Wow, this guy’s really good at this and that”, or, “Wow this guy knows how to cook a mean omelette. I should hire him to cook for me!”
3. You talk about your product/service as a godsend
Sure, you have to claim your product or service is the best.
You do want to get clients, right? But what makes people like you, is the fact that you’re a real person. Someone they can relate to. Someone they can turn to. Someone they know who listens to them and can feel their pain.
They want to know you’ve made some blunders in the past, just so they’ll know you’re not bluffing about your credentials. After all, no one started out being the best in the business.
Admit it to everyone. Admit it when you’re writing copy. Tell them that you were once a lazy-ass bum, or just a “high school graduate”, or being just another “pool guy” as my friend Marcus Sheridan describes himself in his introductions.
I’ve read about this in Dan Kennedy’s book, The Ultimate Sales Letter. Sure the whole book was about writing copy, but you can still apply it in your blog.
Dan Kennedy talked about how an Italian restaurant advertised some of the ‘downsides’ of their restaurant. Here’s part of the ad:
If you want waiters in tuxedos with white linen cloths over their arms, menus with unpronounceable words all over them, and high-priced wines served in silver ice buckets when you go out for Italian food, our little restaurant is not the place to come.
Notice how it sounds almost like the owner of the restaurant compared themselves to a classy place, and stating bluntly that they’re not even close to that much class. But then here was what followed:
But if you mostly want good, solid, home-cooked pasta with tasty sauces made with real vegetables and spices by a real Italian Mama and will trade white linen for red-and-white checked plastic tablecloths, you’ll like our place just fine. If you’re okay with a choice of just two wines, red or white, we’ll give you as much of it as you want, from our famous bottomless wine bottle — free with your dinner.
Don’t you just love the way this ad used the restaurant’s lack of “shiny things” and tell it like a fun story?
4. You never make fun of yourself
Another blogging mistake is when we’re always so serious, and so conscious about our images.
A great way to introduce yourself is to tell a joke about how lazy, or inexperienced you are at something.
It tells people that you’re a down-to-earth guy (or girl), and that you’re very much approachable. It makes you all the more likable.
Sonia Simone of Copyblogger infuses subtle hints of humor when she writes, making her posts enjoyable while being packed with valuable insights.
Chris Brogan also pokes some fun at himself sometimes, reminding us that he’s not an uptight mafia boss (although I personally think he looks the part).
Dan Kennedy calls it ‘Self-Deprecating Humor’. It’s a way to release the tension between you and your audience. If you want to make people like you, listen to you and probably ‘buy’ from you, you need to first gain their trust and respect. Injecting a little humor is one good way to do it.
5. You don’t credit other people
One of the biggest blogging mistakes you could do is to take credit for every great idea that you blog about.
Genius ideas are rare these days. Most likely you’re going to write about something great that you’ve swiped someplace else.
It’s nice to give credit where credit is due.
It’s like how Tommy from My Name Is Tommy gives credit to a lot of people in his videos, like when he gave props to Jon Morrow. And how Jon Morrow always talks about his ‘St. Chris Garret’.
Not only will you be doing that person a favor, but you’ll make yourself ‘believable’.
Let’s not be jerks
Avoid the above blogging mistakes.
Don’t fall into the trap of becoming an almighty guru and end up sounding like you’re full of yourself.
I’m sometimes guilty of sounding like a jerk, and I want to correct that behavior.
We’re all just people learning to get better at what we do. It’s a never-ending process.
What about you? Have you ever wondered if you sounded like a jerk in your blog posts? Do you have any other tips to share about how to not sound like a blogging jerk?
image credit: therisetothetop
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About Josh Sarz
I ALWAYS find time to make fun of myself or make others laugh..Been told I was AWESOME by two Prominent gifted people which made me feel I could do BETTER as I didn;t think that much of my writing style..Although I’m over 50 with many disabilities one being bad eyes(No Gland Works therefore they are painful every day between med) I respect those I’ve learned from and spent two days off and on making a Video for someone who just gave me some good feedback for music which is just part of a story really all to come…my style I felt was not so good and layout but I’ve learned that from others and will improve on it…I’m quite a private person so don’t have my own face on a video yet..I feel in my case I have to mention a bit about myself in order that people know I’m not a NUT in love with a deceased Rock Star..I learned from Writetodone that I should have been working as the Spirit moved me and this has helped…Due to Thyroid memory I have to take TIME…lots of it…and I also learned from yourself and Leo Babauta that this is best taking time…Yes learning from others helps and I am pleased to say that I have been teaching others simple jobs that I once could not do myself…I see your titles are big and well laid out..been thinking about this a lot…so more learning for me as I can grasp what you say CLEARLY although I like dark backgrounds with light type(for those who gave me feedback about my other pages on mysapce etc.)..I wish I had a ROBOT to do the hosuework and cook….will read the lot of your Blog once I stop work on phones tonight…I also feel that there are some Blogs I just don’t like as they make you feel it’s what I would want and it’s NOT…..that wouldn’t work for me..no brainwashing here…although I haven’t seen many like that yet.. .Peace and Health to you and yours…off to work now..(at home)
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I’m a private person myself, and I also don’t have a video up. Lots of people are using videos nowadays.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to this post and sharing your opinions and experiences. Thank you for dropping by.
This is a great post. It brings out a lot of things that we do yet do not realize it.
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An interesting read, causing me to pause and reflect.
Perhaps environmental factors can cause us to be a jerk, or maybe it is inherited from some distant relative from the dark side?
After many years of being serious, a friend said ” You know Richard, you are such a sanctimonious twit at times! You need to lighten up?”
So I worked on my persona, looking to be more happy & carefree, until another kind soul said “You know Richard, you should really stop playing the light hearted clown; it is starting to wear very thin!”
Now, due to my poor Blogging ability, I am possibly becoming a JERK?
I just cannot win!
No matter how much we try, we can never please everyone. That’s a sad truth. Thanks for stopping by, Richard.
Thanks for sharing this useful not-to-do list, I promise I’m going to try not to be a jerk anymore!
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Yes, I’m A idiot… haha…
‘m sometimes guilty of sounding like a super idiot, and I want to change… THIS TIME.
We all make these mistakes at one point with our blogs. I for one am guilty of sounding like a jerk very recently.
Hi Josh
Thanks for sharing the tips. Promoting ourselves is a must actually, over do it then people would get bored. I will keep your advise in mind from now on. Here are one article that I wrote about myself but it is actually more on sharing my experience rather than bragging.
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That article is actually fine, Dzulhelmee. It’s not about bragging at all, but educating and helping other people how to do the same. Thanks for coming over, and thanks for sharing your post.
Thanks Josh
Glad to hear it.
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Before I comment, I have to say that I love the pic! Had me and the mates at work in stitches! Moving on, I have to agree that blogging does bring out the best in people. But it can also bring out the worst. Thanks for these tips. They’re sure to save me and many others that may be on our way to Jerkville
Thanks for dropping by, Michelle.
Hi Josh – said I was coming over to comment!
I’m inclined to think you are a bit harsh on yourself, young man! It’s the prerogative of youth to be a bit of a jerk sometimes – it’s actually quite endearing. But then I would also say it’s a prerogative of us ‘old ‘uns’ to sometimes be a bit of a jerk too – we’ve served time and have earned the right to be ‘off kilter’ every now and then. On balance – as with everything – a little here and there does no real harm!
I’ll look forward to hearing from you soon. Linda
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Thanks, Linda. Have a wonderful week ahead.
Hi Josh,
What a great list. I think I’ve managed to avoid most of the “jerk” behaviors you describe…I do write about myself pretty regularly, but usually just to make fun of the dumb stuff I’ve done!
Best,
Debra
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Hi Debra. Yeah, self-deprecating humor is always good in my book. As long as you don’t overdo it and make yourself look unprofessional. Have a great week ahead!
I’ve been writing on the internet since 2000. I just want to right some wrongs and am comfortable being a jerk or anything else readers might make of me. Of course, I don’t make any money out of it but won’t turn it down if it comes my way with no strings attached.
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I guess it depends on the niche you’re in. If you’re writing about something wherein you have to sound like a jerk (like rants on politics), I think it’s necessary to get your point across.
I’m not a jerk anymore thank God. I used to talk about myself alot just because that was originally the heart of blogging (the online diary) but I realized that people don’t give a crap. So I turned jerk mode off. coo post
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Good post ..these are the real truth which people do and need to look into it ..
I think this article is written so good I want to share to my friends
I probably have sounded like a jerk at times. I just wish enough people would have visited my blog so they could tell me. See what I mean? I started this comment with “I” and ended with “me.” I must be a real blogger jerk. lol! What say you? Here’s my blog site. http://www.brendalfoster.wordpress.com Let me know if I’m a jerk. Thanks, I appreciate it!
I agree with your thoughts here. Nothing pisses off people more than a know it all guy who thinks he has the answer for everything.
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Way to go man! Those are really good points, and funny as well. As I read along your points, there are some blogger’s names that popped in my head.
Bloggers should know by now! Great!
Ruth wants to share…layla grace furniture
Nice tips Josh. I think make fun is the hardest part of me. I think some people need some practice to master it.
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Hi Josh. What an Interesting post.
Time to double check to make sure I’m not committing these mistakes
One other thing I’ve noticed is that when we communicate through the medium of words alone (as opposed to speaking face to face for example), it can often be easy to be misunderstood as the person on the receiving end may not be able to catch the true underlying tone / meaning at times.
So sometimes we have to be a little more careful to prevent coming across as a jerk, even if that’s not your intention.
These are really the most common fails which always make me upset but honestly… I’m not sure if I ever have made maybe more of them. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes and do the trial-and-act method.
Linda wants to share…Mein kleiner Havaneser
Very great tips to follow in order to make a blog popular and well read
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Love the pic & the tips, Josh! Bloggers really do get caught up with traffic and subscriber boosts they forget how important content is. Surely they’ll get traffic, but not quality traffic though. Thanks for sharing these tips with your readers.
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What people hate is to read blogs written by people who thinks that they are God’s gift to mankind.
In my opinion, the way out to being a jerk online is simple. Just think of the web like a normal interaction we have with other people.
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