“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Tyler Durden

Count your losses and grow stronger
Have you ever lost something? Anything? No matter how small it is.
It could be an opportunity for a promotion, a sale, or a guest blog submission.
You have?
Good.
Don’t worry. It means you’re on to something. Something bigger than yourself.
Tyler Durden might be a fictional character, but Chuck Palahniuk must have been struck with genius when he wrote Fight Club.
Chuck lost a lot when he was still a kid. He lost the privilege of having a good childhood when his parents left him and his siblings. When he started writing, his first pieces of work didn’t make it through right away. He had to lose again.
Publishers didn’t like his book, Invisible Monsters because it was too disturbing for their tastes. But Chuck never gave up his style. He went on to write Fight Club, a story meant to be even more disturbing to sort of go against the publishers who shunned him.
Fight Club has since then been made a movie, and has sold millions. He continues to write even more disturbing content. This has become his style. His voice. His ultimate success.
This is the part where you throw up
When you lose something important, two things can happen.
- Forget what you’re doing. This is not going to work out anyway. There are more important things to do with your time. This all is just a waste of money.
- You throw up, because it hurts. It’s disgusting. But you stand your ground. You keep on trudging onward. You write even more disturbing content. Because this is what you want to do. This is your ultimate success.
If you choose the first one, who knows? Maybe you’ll find your destiny. Try fishing one day, and then you’ll end up having your own show on the Discovery Channel. But you’re putting so much of your life on chance. Something you can’t control.
And the fact is, if you keep on quitting and running away, you’re going to be doing that for the rest of your life.
If you choose the second one, it shows the world that this is what you want to do. Whether you’re good at it or not. The thing is, there’s always room for improvement.
Failed a copy? Guest post submission didn’t work out so well?
Good.
Keep going at it. Learn from your mistakes, but don’t ever falter. Don’t settle.
Keep writing disturbing content. This is the part where you throw up.
What’s so good about losing?
You’re bound to lose something along the way.
Maybe your boss will turn you down for a promotion a couple of times. The girl of your dreams might just dump you even before you get the balls to talk to her.
The secret is to keep going at it.
You see, loss either makes or breaks you. It can make you stronger beyond you’re wildest dreams. It all depends on how you react to it.
Turn all that negative energy of losing something into one big ball of kinetic energy just waiting to be unleashed.
Whether you’re struggling with your blog, or you’ve been failing a couple dozen times trying to cook that perfect Beef Wellington, or you’re pushing to write a book worthy of being turned into a Hollywood movie.
Turn your loss into a gain. Write a better copy. Get your guest post on Problogger. Get better.
Your #1 fan is waiting
Guy Kawasaki said you should keep on doing what you love. No one might be listening to you right now, but somewhere in this world waits a lonelyboy15.
He’s that kid. He could be a football varsity star. A school mascot. Heck, he could even be the school janitor.
But this lonelyboy15 will fall in love with your “disturbing content” and share it with his friends. Then the snowball effect begins.
Chuck Palahniuk also had his lonelyboy15. His name is Robert Paulson Edward Hibbert.
If you keep going at it, eventually you’ll find your lonelyboy15. It could also be the other way around.
The trick is to never take a step back when doing something that you love. Despite the possibility of loss.
Realize how much you’ve lost
You need to experience loss to make you stronger as a blogger.
The first step is to realize what you’ve been doing wrong, and that you need to correct that. Right now.
Did you lose several sales pitches? Great. Now you know what doesn’t work, and you can build on it.
Did Derek Halpern tell you personally that your blog design is losing you a bunch of customers? Great. Fix that.
So here’s the plan
When something bad happens and all hell breaks loose, count your losses.
How much did you lose along the way? A lot?
Then that means you have no reason to quit now. Don’t ever settle and let all that loss go to waste.
Turn that into fuel that drives you to become something bigger than yourself. Keep running.
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Some people may or may not remember the FOX sitcom “Titus” a few years ago, but its main star Christopher Titus went through hell and back while growing up. With a dangerous alcoholic father who wreaked a lot of havoc in Titus’ family, Titus took all that pain and heartbreak (including his own mistakes) and made a groundbreaking stand-up comedy act. He was able to take all that pain and make people laugh and feel better about their own lives. Great article, Josh.
Bryan Thompson wants to share…Why This Christmas Will Change Everything!
I haven’t seen the show, but that’s a great example Bryan. It’s true. Life has a way of slapping us in the face, but if we can turn the negatives into something that will drive us to become stronger, we’ll be able to take on most of the things that life can throw at us. It’s never going to be easy. It’s true when they say, “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.”
Thanks for taking the time to read my post.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Bryan!
Wow, Great post Josh. I love Chuck Palahniuk. All my favorite books/quotes are by him, and not to mention how much I love Fight club. Losing someone/something definitely makes you appreciate what you have. At the end of the day, no matter how much you lose, you still have the privilege of being on Earth.
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
Rochelle wants to share…SA Banks Hire for Poor as New York And London Slash Jobs
Thanks for the great input Rochelle.
I’m surprised you like reading Chuck Palahniuk’s stuff. Most of the people I know here can’t stomach his style. haha
Josh Sarz wants to share…The Undeniable Power Of Loss